When you choose and decide to live in love, you can become more expanded in your true nature, shedding guilt, shame, resentment, doubt and fear- even if you’re not aware of these feelings.  When you become aware of what is bothering you, you can acknowledge, feel and release this negativity, then you can forgive or/and accept the feeling of peace.  Refocusing on what you want and who you want to be becomes the main goal.  Forgiveness kills the EGO.  The old self must die before becoming a new Being of self-empowerment and love.  Allowing yourself to be vulnerable while your EGO screams “NO” to protect you is very normal.  As you recoil, you go back into the old self, getting back on the merry-go-round to stay safe.  The old identify is safe, the new identity is unchartered territory.  It takes time to trust and allow this change.  It’s a matter of developing enough discernment, faith to turn within and trust to find the right people and environment to enhance your spiritual life learning . First, the healing has to begin WITHIN yourself.   This is a journey of life experience, dreaming and thought to figure out what you want in your life.